I haven't always been “the quiet one” in class. In high school, I was named class clown, got detention for talking too much, and had to go to the office almost every week for “disrupting” the class, which is the opposite of who I am today.
I believe it all started when I first went to college. Going somewhere where I knew no one, maybe I realized I was most likely never going to see some of the people I grew up with again. I shut down and pushed my true self down so deeply that I do not think I will ever be that person again.
Now, what's it like being in a major where one of the main focuses is communication? Honestly, not as scary as I thought it would be. I will never be the first one to talk, which at times may come off as rude, but it’s not intended. I like being the one on the sidelines where someone tells me what to do, I hate being in charge. I have an inferiority complex, which makes me believe everyone in a class is better and smarter than me.
I find that being alone gives me the motivation to do my best work.
I'm not shy or anti-social. I’m good at connecting with people on a personal level, one-on-one. I find that being alone gives me the motivation to do my best work. I have a great ability to listen, and I am constantly overthinking and analyzing conversations. I know small talk is inevitable in the Communications field, and I have found ways to cope and navigate my words to not come off as uninterested or bored.
Do I wish I were more of an extrovert? Absolutely. I see how easy and effortless my peers make it seem and think about how nice it would be for me if I were able to communicate like they do.
Through different experiences, I am branching out and expanding my knowledge of different communication styles that work for me.
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